Lethean Tears
by Blurred Memories
Summary: Series of short pieces written for the Chambers of Merlin's 20th Anniversary Challenge proposed by Himiko. Each chapter can be read separately as a stand-alone.
1. Chapter 1: FAMILY

**AN:** Series of short pieces written for the Chambers of Merlin's 20th Anniversary Challenge proposed by Himiko. Here's my small contribution.

Thanks to C. H. Honoria for letting me know of this challenge and for being such a talented and enthusiastic Merlin fan, especially when it comes to the Morgan/Frik pairing!

Title is taken from Solution.45's song.

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 **January Prompt: FAMILY**

 **oOo**

She knew it the first time she awoke to the crackling of magic pervading the air. She came from the silence of death. She came from the darkness of oblivion. And she wasn't alone.

When she came into the mortal world, her sister was standing by her side. Crowned by the desperate cries of men, they walked among them as goddesses, shadows in the mist. And while her heart ached for the tortured souls they encountered on their way, her companion seemed to find that very same sight rather enthralling. Head slightly tilted to the side, cold eyes glistening with eagerness, burgundy lips curved in a dangerous grin, and the taste of human suffering bursting inside of her mouth. These fragile mortals... she didn't like their pain for its own sake, she understood it could feed her powers for a long time to come. As long as they were at each other's throats she would be needed, she would be worshipped.

But evanescence was going to be their only fate, in the end; the silver-haired sister knew it all along. A throaty laugh erupted from her raven-haired twin's mouth when she heard the truth being spoken. She ran away.

And so they went their separate ways.

The lady with silver locks tumbling down her pale shoulders went to live to the bottom of the lake, her hair now floating around her head like a glowing halo. Its calm waters became her kingdom, their darkness a cherished reminder of her sister lost. Very few creatures came to call for her help from the shore, preferring to turn to Queen Mab, the lady of the night.

But the day came when Mab started to weaken, her great powers slowly flowing out of her body as her followers considered kneeling before a new God. The day came when time actually meant something to her. She was getting close to the brink of oblivion with each passing hour and she knew it. Every mountain, every tree, every little rock on her path seemed to whisper the same threat: "Soon you'll be forgotten." And she couldn't stand it.

She grew restless, afraid, desperate even. And she remembered her sister.

The Lady of the Lake felt her every step across the mainland, each one sent ripples through the blood inside her veins. When there were no more steps to take, Mab stood silently on the shore, watching the unmoving waters. No need to speak, a pair of sapphire eyes had already emerged to study her. With one swift, graceful jump, the celestial creature whom they belonged to was completely out of the water, floating above it. When she started to speak her small voice came in soft echoes as if it had remained on the bottom of the lake.

"Sister, it's been so long."

Mab only raised an eyebrow at the veil of sadness in her twin's eyes. "Not long enough, these mortal fools haven't spent nearly enough time following the old ways." Her raspy voice stated coldly. "And now they think they can just forget us! But I won't let them."

"Oh Mab, they are so fickle these mortals... they know no constancy, no stillness. They don't know time can be of no importance, they have so little of it and so they think they have to rush everything, enjoy the many choices life provides before it's too late. You cannot change their nature."

"They need us!"

"They need something to believe in and that's what we gave them, for a while. There are other Gods already being shaped inside of their minds, almost ready to take our place. We need men to exist, they don't necessarily need us."

"Then you won't help me bring them back to us?" Mab seethed.

"I'm sorry, sister. All things change, we must accept that; we must accept our fate."

"I won't be drained of my powers, I won't be forgotten!"

"Then this shall be your fight, Mab, not mine."

The Lady of the Lake watched her sister walk away with such rage in her grey eyes and clenched fists she knew she was ready to topple empires to get what she wanted.

Years went by until the day a man came to her shores, pleading for help. He wasn't any man. He was Mab's creation, _a man who had no mortal father_. She showed herself to him not to defy her sister, but because she was saddened by the way the lady of the night was playing with his life and the lives of others.

He took her advice and left, more than once, and then he came no more.

She was fading faster now, not really bothered by the idea of going down into the abyss never to come up again. But she knew her sister was afraid and she only prayed she would come in time.

The mist rose and Mab returned with blood on her hands, the blood of many but only one among them truly mattered. She had grown to despise her firstborn after he had turned against her, she had wanted nothing but to tear Merlin apart. But Mordred... Mordred was her rightful son, he had made her so proud. His innate viciousness had made the task of raising him so much easier. And now he was dead, all hope lost for good.

In her mind she was still on that battlefield, clutching his body, cradling him in her arms, the tears streaming down her face mingling with the warm blood pouring out of his mortal wound. A man had succeeded in getting under her skin, he had made her mourn his death. Never again.

A ghostly-pale outstretched hand came to the surface, its long fingers beckoning, and the Lady of the Lake's echoed words filled the air.

"You went into battle wearing the crown men put above your head, rage and fierceness at your sides. You fought, you lost. Our time's up. Let us face oblivion together, let us go back home. Sweet sister of mine... come to die."

Mab's bare feet moved of their own accord towards the lake, finding the calmness of its waters undeniably alluring now. The hem of her black dress brushed against the dry land for the last time before she surrendered into her sister's embrace.


	2. Chapter 2: WOMEN

**February Prompt: WOMEN**

 **oOo**

The sweet scent of decay haunts the woods she's roaming around. It's almost too sweet, sickening; her nostrils are filled with it. Dead leaves crumble to dust underneath her cold bare feet as she walks, the crunching sound they make is too much of an inadequate weapon to cut through the thick silence; nothing but a blunt sword she quickly discards.

Where is it she's headed? She cannot remember, it seems.

She just walks. And the trees on her path all look the same, their branches of ink intertwining high above her head in the clear night sky. She has never spent much time wandering into the woods, her father wouldn't allow that when she was younger. _It's not ladylike, Nimue_ ; that's what he'd often say in response to her requests. A few simple words, words he was supposed to use with her, words she grew to hate. But not him, never him. She loved her father, he just worried about her, about her future. And maybe he was right.

She almost died the first time she disobeyed him and went straying from the beaten path, both literally and figuratively speaking. But she met Merlin where death stood waiting with wide open arms and he saved her.

Merlin... she loves the way he always talks about the woods he grew up into, the remarkable connection he feels with the forces of nature and every living thing. Now that's a gift. And what a curse...

 _Beware the woods when all its dwellers go silent._ The warning runs through her mind, spoken in the kind familiar voice of the man she loves. She turns around, looking for him in the shadows, only to find out she's alone. The realization sends shivers down her spine and she instinctively hugs herself. Cold hands meet just as cold naked shoulders, she lowers her gaze to see goosebumps all over her forearms. That's when she sees the white of her nightgown and realizes that's the only thing she's wearing. No wonder she's freezing.

She runs her hands up and down her arms, in a desperate effort to keep herself warm. But her numb fingertips soon stop dead in their tracks; something glistening in the moonlight has caught her eye. Water.

Nimue stands a few feet away, paralyzed by fear. Water's just another thing she has grown to dread after she got her scars, like mirrors. She doesn't want to see her reflection. All sorts of reflective surfaces have been banished from her room; she can barely stand when others look upon the stranger's face she carefully keeps wrapped up in a scarf, she dies a little everytime Merlin starts to peel it away from her marred skin. She feels so undeserving of his time, of his patience, of his love.

A sudden caw from the trees pulls her from her thoughts, making her flinch. Her head whips to the side and she lays her fearful eyes on the branch occupied by the source of that very same eerie noise. There stands a most uncommon raven, staring at her. It has a striking beauty about itself, the way its dark shiny feathers catch the pale light of the moon, the way its tiny black orbs twinkle at every twitch of the head.

Nimue's next breath gets caught in her throat as her eyes fall on the bird's claws. Unconsciously, she moves backwards, towards the pool. When she turns around again she sees something shift in the darkness at its bottom. A dim light is born out of the shadows swirling in the water, a light that gets brighter until Nimue can make out the three faces carved in the stone floor.

She has never seen this place before but it looks familiar and now she knows why. Merlin has been here once, he told her the story. He described these very same stone faces, she can even name them.

Titania the Maiden, the one facing left; her every feature speaks of innocence. Mab-Morrigan the Warrior, her empty eyes gazing straight into Nimue's; her painted face bears the marks of a fierceness transcending the mortal realm. Melusine the Mother, the third and last figure, facing right; the purest and most powerful form of love is known to pulse within her stone heart.

All three of them are supposed to portray the different personalities of Mab, Queen of the Old Ways and Merlin's sworn enemy. Nimues wonders if each of them can be found in every mortal woman as well. Yes, she thinks so.

 _But what am I?_ She thinks to herself, her eyes glistening in the silver light reflected by the water's surface. _Am I a maiden? No more. Am I a warrior? I never was. Am I mother? I never will be. And what's a woman who cannot be a mother and a warrior forged to fight for her family? What can I offer Merlin? I am nothing._

"I can fix that, dear." Nimue's eyes widen as Mab's raspy voice suddenly invades her mind like poison fumes. "I can give you what you want."

The goddess' words sound hoarse, croaky, but they hold the power to bare Nimue's invisible wounds, spreading a sorceress' balm over them. Her caresses make Nimue's skin crawl, and yet she's unable to pull away and free herself.

"Can you picture it, Nimue? Making Merlin happy... getting your beauty back... bearing his child."

This is almost too much.

"I can make it all happen. You know I can."

Nimue squeezes her eyes shut, hands balled into white-knuckled fists at her sides; she tries to focus on keeping the demon woman out of her head, only to find confirmation of the fact that she's no match for her.

 _Don't trust the Queen of Lies and Deceit. There's a catch. There's always a catch._ Merlin's reassuring voice comes to her.

"There's no catch, Nimue. Merlin's my son, I only want what's best for him."

 _Lies!_ Merlin's accusation booms through her mind.

 _I know, my love. I won't fall for them._ Nimue mentally reassures him.

"You just want to keep him for yourself." Nimue addresses the crow. "You'll never let me have him."

The raven's answer to that is a piercing cawing that forces her to bring her hands up to cover her ears.

When the cries stop, at last, Nimue, now standing beside the pool, crouches down by the silvery surface. The knots keeping the scarf tightly in place around her head and neck have come undone, she can now see the piece of cloth dangling in the wind out of the corner of her eye.

Her old self stares back at her from the water's surface. She can still feel the dull pain of her ugly scars pulsing underneath the skin but on the outside... they're gone. Just like that. Her flawless face is back.

Nimue's fingertips fly to her face, eager to probe her own skin, but they stop painfully close to their wish becoming true.

 _It's just an illusion_ , she tries to remind herself, _just another one of Mab's well-crafted tricks._

"You see what my magic can do for you, Nimue." Each word is coated in hypnotic sweetness.

 _Oh Mab, why are you being so cruel? Why do you hate me so?_

Nimue's fingertips sink into the smooth skin as she lets out the breath she was holding and allows her body to be taken over by the sobs. Merlin's warm eyes appear on the silvery surface. There's no more love for her in the ghastly irises she meets, only disappointment and disgust for her weakness.

She cannot stand it. She looks away.

"No!" She screams. "My answer's no."

She can't stop the tears from falling.

Mab's eerie cackle fills the air around her and suddenly she knows the scars are back, even without the need to see them with her own eyes.

"You know where to find me when you'll change your mind, Nimue. I will wait for you in your dreams." And Nimue knows the missing words Mab didn't need to add: until you'll give in to me, at last.

A promise. And a threat.

Safe in her bed at Avalon, bathed in the golden warmth of morning light, Nimue wakes up with a soft fluttering of eyelashes.

* * *

 **AN:** Just wanted to say I'm falling in love with James Mallory's novelization of the miniseries, I know I'm very late to the party but better late than never, right? :D

As always, sorry for my mistakes.


	3. Chapter 3: FAITH

**AN:** I wrote these few simple lines a while ago while listening to "Sane" by Fear of Men. I imagined these to be Ambrosia's last thoughts while she's in her hut with Mab (pretending for a moment that Merlin's out of the picture).

* * *

 **March Prompt: FAITH**

 **oOo**

Pounding, racing, shuddering;

There's life underneath this frail skin of mine.

She craves my beating heart.

Her fingertips seek out the heated flesh.

Greedily, they seize every inch they can reach, running blindly after the pulse.

Fresh bruises banish the paleness with their shades.

 _I own you_ , a ghastly whisper against my neck.

How can I call the darkness a liar when I'm wearing her marks?

A frozen kiss lingering in the hollow of my throat.

And the firmness gives in, failing to preserve the shape of my body.

And her fingers sink in deep, molding me into a creature of her own design.

Warm blood still runs under paper-thin skin, unaware of the curse it casts on me.

A life that's poorly sheltered, cloaked in nothing but weakness.

A heart that fancies itself safe in a cage of brittle bones keeps beating in my chest.

But I know I am not safe.

 _Are you going to run from me?_

She smiles against the dark.

 _Then run, my darling. Run._

She's with me wherever I go.

I fed off lies that I took right from her open hands, one by one.

She taught me to be afraid, to fear the Gods that play with our lives.

She taught me to believe and now I do. I believe. I believe she will destroy me in the end.


End file.
